Live in the Moment
Toddlers live in the moment 100% of the time. It is charming, and it is a powerful lesson to achieving happiness for us partents. It is easy for adults to get frustrated during toddlerhood because the little ones can't really understand how their actions affect others, and they want everything now. Its easier to say "no" to the outlandish requests of toddlers, but it is kind of fun to say "yes" and to live in the moment with them. There is a natural wisdom, especially to those children born onto the Ascension path, that can teach us as parents so much.
Also these are such important years in the formation of their sense of selves and when they are still really connected to spirit. What happens to them during this time is crucial because this is when they are forming the foundation of their views of the world. They still need your love, protection and safety 24/7. They can't live without you. It can be hard to stay present, but I try to remember that this moment is so short in the long run. It's ok if everything else gets put on the back burner just to be present and loving to these little creatures. Toddlers can get overwhelming, but whenever I find myself beginning to distract myself on my phone, I try to remember to live in the moment... because this moment won't last.
Toddler Discipline (or lack of)
Milo is so oppositional and defiant, and really a very difficult type of toddler tyrant. Everything is a battle. Everything. He does not back down. He does not forget. He is a master negotiator. He breaks me down almost every single time...but I love that kid so much, and I am SO happy he is mine. We have a good relationship with very little fighting. He is exceptionally hard to discipline. First and foremost, I try to understand where he is coming from and to empathize with his position.
He has had many, many, many, many meltdowns over the smallest of things such as putting on pants, not touching the stove, not climbing on the table ect. The biggest thing that I learned from this was that it is not about me controlling him, it is about letting my ego die and choosing my battles.
When he is acting out, I ask myself, "is it dangerous?" or "does it hurt (or negatively affect) someone else?" If the answer to either of these was yes, then I explain to him why in a calm voice why he can't do this while trying to divert his attention to something else. He usually wouldn't back down that easy. It would often escalate to him screaming and me continuing to explain over and over why he cannot do it in a calm and loving voice. No matter how much he objects, I physically restrain him (from touching the stove, for example), explain why honestly and in a clam voice over and over, ("I know you are frustrated, but you cannot touch the stove because it is very hot and you will get burned.") until he finally calms down.
As he gets older, he is more able to put himself in other's shoes, and we discuss in even more depth why he can and cannot do certain things. I want him to feel like we really have a good reason when we tell him "no", and I want him to know what that reason is.
Toddler Emotions
Emotions run wild in these little humans and they are so connected to their feelings at this stage. Milo often cries in frustration or has temper tantrums. Many parents would tell him "don't cry when you don't get what you want" and be angry or annoyed at him. This would be considered normal. However, I can't react that way because I feel Milo would then be forced to disassociate from his genuine emotions. He feels passionately and he is trying to express it, he doesn't understand why it's wrong. If he could not fully express himself, and I were to just shut him down, this would lead to repressed emotions.
How I deal with Milo when he is getting emotional about something ridiculous, is to hold him let him cry and tell him, "I understand you're frustrated. I understand you're frustrated that you can't have your way." Instead of saying "Don't cry", I encourage him to "use your words" so he learns to express his emotions in a easier way for everyone.
I let him cry it out while shielding him and imagining the energy of this emotion leaving his system through the grounding cords and until it's done. This way you help him identify the emotion that he's feeling (in this case, frustration) and you live it with him. You're there for him while he expresses it to the full extent that he needs to. This way, you set the example of shielding and moving the energy through him. And so, it it is released and it's gone forever instead of stuck inside him. The more Milo can talk, the more I will explain this process to him, so that he will be able to manage his emotions in a productive way in the future.
Screen Time
Once again, I have done things that I thought I would never do. Before I had a baby, I saw parents at restaurants with their children watching iPads at the table, and I would judge the parents so hard. But now, after raising Milo, I understand. For older children, this may not be the case, but for terrible toddlers, letting them watch something on the iPad/iPhone can be good for everyone. Children can learn helpful information with positive, educational shows and games that make learning fun while parents get a quiet meal. Other people eating around you aren't disrupted by your frustrated child. I think, the iPad/phone/T.V. can be used as a tool that is mutually beneficial for everybody as long as parents make sure their toddlers are watching positive content.
What a toddler is watching on the iPad (or phone or TV) makes all the difference. When I was young, we had cartoons like Tom and Jerry where animals mercilessly tried to kill each other without any educational value. Today there are really good programs that teach math, reading, good service to community, art and music.
Some of our favorites are: Music/Art-Little Einsteins (Netflix), Positive Role Modeling Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (Amazon Video), Science/Engineering-Blaze and the Monster Machines (Nick Jr) Rusty Rivets (Nick Jr) Math-Team Umizoomi (Nick Jr), Travel-Mouk (Netflix), Reading-Super Why (Netflix).
I don't feel bad when Milo watches these because 1.) he has learned a tremendous amount from these shows, 2.) he is going to be really ready for school when it's time, 3.) he is already good at using technology, not to mention 4.) he is able to maintain a positive relationship with everyone whilst eating out at restaurants.
Toddler Schedule
Believe it or not, structure is actually palatable to the most tyrannical toddlers. They enjoy repetition. Milo loves the schedule and it has been a great way to get him to habitually create positive habits.
The thing that has worked best for us has been creating a list of well-rounded and genuinely fun activities that I want Milo to do everyday. I then let him choose what he wants to do first, second, third, ect. until he has completed the whole list. I only try to keep snacks and meals at the same time everyday. This allows him to do whatever he is feeling like doing at any given time, while still getting everything done and feeling like he is in control. I also have free time twice a day for him, this allows me to work on my work while he plays independently. Milo does not take a nap anymore, because when he does, he stays up until midnight.
To work on numbers, letters, reading, music, art and yoga, I find fun games that address each of these subjects. Then I really engage with him while playing the games. He is happy because he is getting full attention from mama and having fun. He picks up new information at lightning speed this way. Check out the schedule below..
.Food and Toddlers
Different toddlers have different eating issues depending on the individual. Milo is probably the most challenging type of eater that there is in the toddler world. I believe food can be either medicine or poison. Milo loves everything that is poison, and nothing that is medicine. He loves chocolate and cake. The only substantial savory food that he will unlock his jaws for is chicken, french fries, or mac and cheese. He also loves ice cream. He will not consider eating vegetables in general, although he will recently tolerate only orange carrots. My diet is nearly all vegetables, so this is not what I was expecting from my baby. Once again, I had to give up ego control and trust the natural instincts of my child.
I noticed and focused on the nutritious foods he would actually eat. Cheese, yogurt, cashews, strawberries, blueberries, popcorn, smoothies, applesauce, oatmeal with flax seeds, whole grain waffles, dried mango, pizza, mac-n-cheese, baby carrots. And then tried to find the healthiest, most organic high quality versions of each.
Also, thank goodness, Milo loves drinking water out of a glass throughout the day. Water is the juice of life and flushes out toxins!
Check out my attempt at a toddler menu at the bottom of the Food & Recipes section.
Preschool/Daycare
Starseeds/Indigos are hyper-sensitive, and I never felt comfortable with just anybody watching Milo...especially considering Milo's extremely oppositional personality. I knew that, in a daycare setting, the caretakers would have to use discipline in order to control him. I wasn't comfortable with that, because he can be so so persistent and warrior-like, and I wasn't sure what measures would be employed in my absence. I don't want to break his little spirit. I don't want him to feel powerless to another authority figure who wants to break his spirit. I want to nurture his spirit and always give him a healthy questioning of authority. And this is why I really couldn't send him to daycare.
Pre-school is a different story. Milo is excited to go to school. He wants friends. He will start pre-school when he is potty trained, fully talking and able to explain everything that happened to him when he is away from home. I would also prefer that and he is able to construct a basic energy shield , understand the law of resonance and able command his personal space on his own. That way, I know that he will be safe when he is away from my protection. More on this as it develops. Check out this blog post about Toddler Energy Shielding.
Toddlers live in the moment 100% of the time. It is charming, and it is a powerful lesson to achieving happiness for us partents. It is easy for adults to get frustrated during toddlerhood because the little ones can't really understand how their actions affect others, and they want everything now. Its easier to say "no" to the outlandish requests of toddlers, but it is kind of fun to say "yes" and to live in the moment with them. There is a natural wisdom, especially to those children born onto the Ascension path, that can teach us as parents so much.
Also these are such important years in the formation of their sense of selves and when they are still really connected to spirit. What happens to them during this time is crucial because this is when they are forming the foundation of their views of the world. They still need your love, protection and safety 24/7. They can't live without you. It can be hard to stay present, but I try to remember that this moment is so short in the long run. It's ok if everything else gets put on the back burner just to be present and loving to these little creatures. Toddlers can get overwhelming, but whenever I find myself beginning to distract myself on my phone, I try to remember to live in the moment... because this moment won't last.
Toddler Discipline (or lack of)
Milo is so oppositional and defiant, and really a very difficult type of toddler tyrant. Everything is a battle. Everything. He does not back down. He does not forget. He is a master negotiator. He breaks me down almost every single time...but I love that kid so much, and I am SO happy he is mine. We have a good relationship with very little fighting. He is exceptionally hard to discipline. First and foremost, I try to understand where he is coming from and to empathize with his position.
He has had many, many, many, many meltdowns over the smallest of things such as putting on pants, not touching the stove, not climbing on the table ect. The biggest thing that I learned from this was that it is not about me controlling him, it is about letting my ego die and choosing my battles.
When he is acting out, I ask myself, "is it dangerous?" or "does it hurt (or negatively affect) someone else?" If the answer to either of these was yes, then I explain to him why in a calm voice why he can't do this while trying to divert his attention to something else. He usually wouldn't back down that easy. It would often escalate to him screaming and me continuing to explain over and over why he cannot do it in a calm and loving voice. No matter how much he objects, I physically restrain him (from touching the stove, for example), explain why honestly and in a clam voice over and over, ("I know you are frustrated, but you cannot touch the stove because it is very hot and you will get burned.") until he finally calms down.
As he gets older, he is more able to put himself in other's shoes, and we discuss in even more depth why he can and cannot do certain things. I want him to feel like we really have a good reason when we tell him "no", and I want him to know what that reason is.
Toddler Emotions
Emotions run wild in these little humans and they are so connected to their feelings at this stage. Milo often cries in frustration or has temper tantrums. Many parents would tell him "don't cry when you don't get what you want" and be angry or annoyed at him. This would be considered normal. However, I can't react that way because I feel Milo would then be forced to disassociate from his genuine emotions. He feels passionately and he is trying to express it, he doesn't understand why it's wrong. If he could not fully express himself, and I were to just shut him down, this would lead to repressed emotions.
How I deal with Milo when he is getting emotional about something ridiculous, is to hold him let him cry and tell him, "I understand you're frustrated. I understand you're frustrated that you can't have your way." Instead of saying "Don't cry", I encourage him to "use your words" so he learns to express his emotions in a easier way for everyone.
I let him cry it out while shielding him and imagining the energy of this emotion leaving his system through the grounding cords and until it's done. This way you help him identify the emotion that he's feeling (in this case, frustration) and you live it with him. You're there for him while he expresses it to the full extent that he needs to. This way, you set the example of shielding and moving the energy through him. And so, it it is released and it's gone forever instead of stuck inside him. The more Milo can talk, the more I will explain this process to him, so that he will be able to manage his emotions in a productive way in the future.
Screen Time
Once again, I have done things that I thought I would never do. Before I had a baby, I saw parents at restaurants with their children watching iPads at the table, and I would judge the parents so hard. But now, after raising Milo, I understand. For older children, this may not be the case, but for terrible toddlers, letting them watch something on the iPad/iPhone can be good for everyone. Children can learn helpful information with positive, educational shows and games that make learning fun while parents get a quiet meal. Other people eating around you aren't disrupted by your frustrated child. I think, the iPad/phone/T.V. can be used as a tool that is mutually beneficial for everybody as long as parents make sure their toddlers are watching positive content.
What a toddler is watching on the iPad (or phone or TV) makes all the difference. When I was young, we had cartoons like Tom and Jerry where animals mercilessly tried to kill each other without any educational value. Today there are really good programs that teach math, reading, good service to community, art and music.
Some of our favorites are: Music/Art-Little Einsteins (Netflix), Positive Role Modeling Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (Amazon Video), Science/Engineering-Blaze and the Monster Machines (Nick Jr) Rusty Rivets (Nick Jr) Math-Team Umizoomi (Nick Jr), Travel-Mouk (Netflix), Reading-Super Why (Netflix).
I don't feel bad when Milo watches these because 1.) he has learned a tremendous amount from these shows, 2.) he is going to be really ready for school when it's time, 3.) he is already good at using technology, not to mention 4.) he is able to maintain a positive relationship with everyone whilst eating out at restaurants.
Toddler Schedule
Believe it or not, structure is actually palatable to the most tyrannical toddlers. They enjoy repetition. Milo loves the schedule and it has been a great way to get him to habitually create positive habits.
The thing that has worked best for us has been creating a list of well-rounded and genuinely fun activities that I want Milo to do everyday. I then let him choose what he wants to do first, second, third, ect. until he has completed the whole list. I only try to keep snacks and meals at the same time everyday. This allows him to do whatever he is feeling like doing at any given time, while still getting everything done and feeling like he is in control. I also have free time twice a day for him, this allows me to work on my work while he plays independently. Milo does not take a nap anymore, because when he does, he stays up until midnight.
To work on numbers, letters, reading, music, art and yoga, I find fun games that address each of these subjects. Then I really engage with him while playing the games. He is happy because he is getting full attention from mama and having fun. He picks up new information at lightning speed this way. Check out the schedule below..
.Food and Toddlers
Different toddlers have different eating issues depending on the individual. Milo is probably the most challenging type of eater that there is in the toddler world. I believe food can be either medicine or poison. Milo loves everything that is poison, and nothing that is medicine. He loves chocolate and cake. The only substantial savory food that he will unlock his jaws for is chicken, french fries, or mac and cheese. He also loves ice cream. He will not consider eating vegetables in general, although he will recently tolerate only orange carrots. My diet is nearly all vegetables, so this is not what I was expecting from my baby. Once again, I had to give up ego control and trust the natural instincts of my child.
I noticed and focused on the nutritious foods he would actually eat. Cheese, yogurt, cashews, strawberries, blueberries, popcorn, smoothies, applesauce, oatmeal with flax seeds, whole grain waffles, dried mango, pizza, mac-n-cheese, baby carrots. And then tried to find the healthiest, most organic high quality versions of each.
Also, thank goodness, Milo loves drinking water out of a glass throughout the day. Water is the juice of life and flushes out toxins!
Check out my attempt at a toddler menu at the bottom of the Food & Recipes section.
Preschool/Daycare
Starseeds/Indigos are hyper-sensitive, and I never felt comfortable with just anybody watching Milo...especially considering Milo's extremely oppositional personality. I knew that, in a daycare setting, the caretakers would have to use discipline in order to control him. I wasn't comfortable with that, because he can be so so persistent and warrior-like, and I wasn't sure what measures would be employed in my absence. I don't want to break his little spirit. I don't want him to feel powerless to another authority figure who wants to break his spirit. I want to nurture his spirit and always give him a healthy questioning of authority. And this is why I really couldn't send him to daycare.
Pre-school is a different story. Milo is excited to go to school. He wants friends. He will start pre-school when he is potty trained, fully talking and able to explain everything that happened to him when he is away from home. I would also prefer that and he is able to construct a basic energy shield , understand the law of resonance and able command his personal space on his own. That way, I know that he will be safe when he is away from my protection. More on this as it develops. Check out this blog post about Toddler Energy Shielding.