So last week was the full moon in Cancer and also my birthday on January 12. I had been feeling exhausted and very emotional for a few days leading up to it, amplified by the cancer full moon. I got weepy and crying the day before my birthday which is par for the course for a birthday. Finally had a beautiful birthday dinner with my girls last night at Gracias Madre, which is an AMAZING vegan Mexican restaurant in LA. (in case you don’t already know)
And yet, I just feel SO strongly this general trend of everything that is still stuck inside us coming to the service to be released, and it's just exhausting. Just when we think we’ve had a great breakthrough, or think that we can't take anymore… there's still so much more to do. It's like a ninja training that just keeps going on and on. We are honing our skills. Our Defense Against the Dark Arts skills, and our skills to live as fully embodied LOVE on Earth at this time of great consciousness potential.
I have also been having the most intense dreams. Every night is a nightmare. Nightmare after nightmare. That along with a baby that wakes up to feed every hour this week (growth spurt) and a toddler and a husband and two huge dogs, it has been like the Chinese water torture because I have not been able to sleep. I feel as though I've been a dream warrior, not sleeping for more than an hour in a stretch and waking to remember the most intense and incredible dreams.
Certain themes are coming back to me in these nightmares…such as a hotel in a familiar city, trying to escape with heavy legs, loosing my children in crowded places, trying to get my friends and family out and escape crowded places. Feeling this over and over and over.
So now, by necessity, I am trying to develop my skills as a lucid dreamer. I bought the Carlos Castanedas book “The Art of Dreaming.” I am also trying to write down my dreams and have a notebook right next to my bed because I always think I’m going to remember it in the morning, but the dream always fades. I have figured out that in my dream, when I think, “Oh this dream situation is SO obvious! Of course I will remember.” That it that is a signal to myself that I need, in fact, to write the dream down in my notebook. I'm just trying to figure out what is in there that I have been fighting all night long….All this at night, while trying to wrangle a toddler tyrant genius and a sweet baby girl who looks EXACTLY like me J and writing manifestos, creating podcasts, poetry and art or writing a blog, when I get a spare minute.
This has just been and time of intense INTENSE hard work, but I am willing to do it because I know hard work is necessary in order achieve your goals… and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to achieve Ascension for myself and this planet, and I COMMAND MY PERSONAL SPACE in order to do so.