Extreme emotional outbursts are my final frontier to overcome my last vestiges of negative behavior patterns in my life.
One major aspect of Ascension is for each one of us to truly look inside ourselves and see where we still have blockages, negative patterns or addictions which keep us from fully living a positive life. For me, I began to systematically work on each aspect of negativity in my life, whether it be physical or mental, and begin to eradicate each blockage from my system using deep thinking, meditation, heart-based investigation, being really real with myself, seeking out alternative healing modalities, and generally doing whatever it takes to clear my subconscious depending on what blockage came up.
However one of the the hardest things to overcome for me are sporadic emotional outbursts. During these outbursts, I begin to feel adrenaline pumping in my body and then suddenly I am crying hysterically, drowning in negative emotions and beginning to spiral out that negativity into the environment around me. Not good. These outbursts happen when I'm triggered emotionally. At first I blamed myself as weak or F***d up and didn't understand why certain things could trigger me into hysteria when I had lived such a good and lucky life. I hated myself for this, and always felt guilty after it happened.
Through a lot of self discovery, I have found that these triggers usually stem from past lives. I've come to understand that there is a lot of cellular memory in my energetic body that remembers very dark dark times on this Earth and lived horrors that should not ever happen to a human. Because I'm an Indigo that has lived since the times of Lemuria and Atlantis, along with many many lives in the historical timelines full of trauma and drama which allowed me to witness firsthand the kind of darkness that happens on this planet. I personally have suffered a lot of trauma around childbirth, motherhood, sexuality, and being tortured for speaking my truth.
I have come to the conclusion (with the help of my guides) that my higher-self chose to live these dark lives in order to testify to it this current lifetime, and also in order to clear the historical timelines of this same darkness as I do my clearing work in this life.
Because of all the trauma in my own past lives, I still get triggered into emotional outbursts more often than I would like. It causes an adrenal reaction, then a panic reaction, then extreme anxiety and then full force panic attack. It is an ongoing battle, but I have been able to see a great reduction in this problem since I have done past life regression, consistent meditation and daily energetic shielding..
I think, even though this fight is ongoing, I am still making progress by just having the consciousness of what is at the root of this problem. Growing up and into my young adulthood, I always thought that my emotional outbursts where my problem of lack of self-control and weakness. I viewed these outbursts as a form of mental illness, and this conclusion was completely supported by the world around me. This is the viewpoint of my family growing up and my husband earlier on in our marriage. My husband found it hard to have compassion because he is not an Indigo like me and does not have the same cellular trauma.
Emotional outbursts triggered from past life trauma can be hard for people to understand if they have not suffered the same types of abuses in their own soul history. It worked wonders for my husband to explain it in a calm and loving way to him. He is now trying to be more helpful and supportive, and I have seen a real change in his perspective. For me, just having compassion for myself has been a very big turning point. Also talking to my husband has also really helped him to have compassion where before he did not.
I will leave you with a very good Lisa Renée quote about this:
"Extreme mental and emotional imbalances are manifesting outwardly in many of the earth population, by those who are being suppressed from accessing multidimensional consciousness anatomy, as well as Ascension knowledge. People that are unprepared mentally, emotionally and spiritually, to comprehend the impact of these Ascension changes made upon our body, are subjected to excessive sensations of emotional tension and mental anxiety. Unfortunately, the suppression of consciousness information has been made successful by labeling multidimensional consciousness experiences as psychological or emotional diseases. Nonetheless, with non judgment and unconditional love, it is imperative to address unresolved conflicts that create anxiety in our mind, emotions and body, and apply clearing and healing tools to remove discord, and replace these negative feelings with neutrality and inner harmony. With some basic energetic context and proper meditation tools, this can be accomplished." (Lisa Renee)
So if you are experiencing extreme emotional outburst I would suggest you get to the root of the problem via meditation. Whether it be in this life, or the another, get down to the root of your issues in the Ascension context and learn how to grow and evolve through it, and thank the Universe for bringing these blockages to the service to be released.
When I first started to do guided meditations to connect me with my spirit guides, Milo was about 11 months old. He was not talking much yet. He had said “mama” “dada” and “doggy”. He was working on saying the color “blue”. He didn't have more than a few words and his pronunciation left something to be desired. I had been talking to a very good psychic who had told me I had a council of 8 spirit guides, but I didn't know how to connect with them personally.
I looked online to find examples of guided meditations that could take me to my spirit guides. After some research, I ended up doing my own hybrid of certain techniques that I found.
I tried it one day when Milo was napping. First, I sat in a comfortable position and began my meditation with putting my physical body to sleep. This is a great way to start any meditation in which you are attempting to go deep into the subconscious. It is best to do this when you are not tired, as you can actually fall asleep when doing this technique. I start by focusing on my toes until a tingling sensation begins to emerge. Then focus on the tingling in my toes until it rises up through my legs and torso. Eventually the tingling sensation has encompassed my whole body. When this happens, the body is asleep and most of the body’s energies are allocated to the mind, such as in a dream state. At this point, I put on an energetic shield (please see the Energetic Protection section of my website to find out how to do that). Shielding here is crucial.
Once fully shielded and in a deep mental meditative state, I clearly asked my guides to show themselves to me, and then I cleared my mind completely. I did not allow my own thoughts to run through my head. I just held space and waited. The first thing I noticed was of the color purple in my minds eye flashing. A very clear purple light. As I focused on this color, I got closer and closer to it in my minds eye. As I got closer, I found out that this purple light was the beginning of a tunnel which, if I traveled through in my meditation, I would and come out the other side. So I did it, I went through the tunnel. Once I got sucked out the other side, I could feel my guides around me.
Once I could feel them, I asked my guides clearly to identify themselves, and then I waited. I erased all of my own thoughts from my mind. Once my mind was completely blank, I waited to hear their answer. I realized the first thing I saw in my mind’s eye was an Image of a sticker that I used to have on my bedroom window as a teenager. I had not thought of that sticker for probably more than 15 years. I had gotten it in Hawaii, and the sticker said ALOHA on it. The next thought that came to my mind was that Hawaii was once a part of Lemuria (I had never thought this before) and that the origin of the word “Aloha” comes from the Lemurian language. Then, all of a sudden, my next thought was “Oh, I bet Aloha has the same root as “Elohim”.” Then my next thought was, “What does that mean? What is Elohim?” and then, a very clear answer came to me…”We are the Elohim.” The answer came in a very clear third person, high-frequency, objective and loving voice in my own head. It still sends shivers down my back, because that is how they told me that they are the Elohim.
In this very loving voice in my own mind, they explained that I had a council of 8 primary spirit guides to help me through life and to help with my Ascension mission. This Council of eight Elohim were able to speak to me through my own thoughts, with the difference being that their thoughts are not mine, their thoughts are extremely high-frequency, unconditionally loving, and they speak about me in the second person instead of the first person. For example, my own thought is, “I am hungry” versus their thought is, “you are hungry.” The distinction is very subtle, but once I became aware of it, it is possible to discern.
At this point in the story, Milo woke up from his nap and I began to play with him and his bedroom. The first thing that Milo does is pick up a purple Lego block with eight circular pegs (see picture). Milo came over to me immediately and looked me directly in the eyeballs. He handed me the Lego brick and said, as clear as day, “purple”. He had never said purple before, and did not again for some time after that. He his pronunciation of the word “purple” was uncannily clear, especially a baby of his age. I got tingles all over my body full body shivers at this point. I look down at the block he handed me and it was purple (like the color tunnel) and had 8 pegs (representing the Council of 8). I took this as a sign and a proof that I had, in fact, made contact with my spirit guides. It was the also first major confirmation that Milo has a good range of psychic abilities.
side note:If you are going to attempt this, it is really important that you use energetic discernment and wear your energetic shield if you connect with anyone in the spirit realm, because negative entities could also communicate this way, so you want to make sure you protect against that and command your personal space.
Recently, I have noticed that a lot of my old friends, even the ones that I thought I would be friends with forever, the ones that I had in my wedding as my bridesmaids, are no longer feeling much like friends to me. They have different interests which do not include Ascension (clearly my obsession). They are in a different stage of life. I am married with children, and they are still jet-setting around, living in all kinds of crazy places, partying and addicted to drugs, or heartbroken and unable to be happy for me or look deeper into themselves to find the answers that they seek. Some of my old friends completely buy into the system, the matrix, the false truth projected by mainstream media and forced upon us as reality. I can't blame them, but I can't go back.
These old friendships just don't seem like a match anymore. At first I was sad about this. But now, I have realized that this is actually ok, healthy, and is making room for better vibrational matches to come into my life. I have let go of having an ego reaction to loosing friends, and that has helped me realize that I can be of better service placing my energy elsewhere.
I have come to understand that there is a "bifurcation of the timelines", meaning that people on the planet are going in two different spiritual directions. Some are going to be going in the direction of consciousness and others will be going the other way toward low frequency, ego, materialism, density and illusion. The people who choose the path toward continued materialism will manifest stronger and more dire situations and disease patterns that will help them have an epiphany and evolve. If they cannot ultimately choose high-frequency and authenticity, they might die from their own blockages.
I have one old friend that I am really worried about, and our friendship has gotten to the point that we are just too far apart to reconcile our philosophical viewpoints. It has gotten so bad recently that I am afraid that she will kill herself, overdose or die. I want to help her, however, she needs to have a wake up call and help herself. I have tried SO many times, and I can't have her around my children anymore. From my perspective, she is absolutely plagued by negative multidimensional entities that are trying to take her down by preying on her life-force. This causes her to be in a lot of pain, choose drugs to self sooth, and then become extremely depressed about it. She recently told me that a doctor diagnosed her as bipolar. This is a palatable diagnosis for her because it allows her to justify her behavior and take even more pharmaceuticals. The pharmaceuticals are really making it worse, taking her further away from the root of the issue, and will eventually poison her body. When I have tried to explain my multidimensional point of view on her issues, she tells me, "I believe in science," and hangs up the phone. When I try to tell her that the demons she is facing are real negative entities and not a psychological diagnosis, she rolls her eyes at me. I get it. But we cannot be friends anymore because of the widening gap between our understandings. This is endlessly frustrating, because I want to help my friend, but on the other hand, she doesn't want to hear my side anyway. She just wants a quick fix that will save face for her ego. Sigh, and then let it go.
We are in the time of a great consciousness shift. This will take us out of resonance with some people in our previous life. If you are loosing friends, it could be a sign of your rapid consciousness evolution. You might be called to become the hermit, to meditate in the cocoon and then blossom into a butterfly. Don't worry, you are brave, it is worth it, and you will find other friends who are butterflies.
If any of my old friends are reading this, I will always be here for you when you are ready choose the path of consciousness, and boldly leave everything you thought you knew behind. Then we will be free once again in the infinite playground of truth and imagination.
So my husband's grandfather died two nights ago. He was 97. Everyone knew it was going to happen a couple weeks before it did. Grandpa really wanted to go. He didn't like to be alive anymore, and it was clear that his moment of transition was coming close. My husband's grandparents have been integral in his life, and some of his greatest qualities came from his grandfather's loving presence. We went over as our little family of four to say goodbye a few days before the end. Nothing was left unsaid and grandpa was surrounded by love.
I did not feel sad at all. Grandpa had an incredibly blessed, full and long life. I could feel most of grandpa's family who had died in the Holocaust, and who he hadn't seen for a long time, hovering around his bedside and in his dreams. I want to tell everyone in Jesse's family who is mourning, "Don't worry guys, I'm relatively skilled in communicating with dead people, so don't hesitate to ask if you want to talk to grandpa." But, alas, they don't believe that such a thing is possible.
This is just a good reminder that our loved ones who pass on are truly still with us. Once in spirit form, they become one of our spirit guides--and often times one of the most passionate advocates on our spirit team because they're still so emotionally connected to what happens in our lives here on Earth. These "lost" loved ones are not really lost, they can be very powerful and helpful helpers on the other side, protecting you and helping you along the way. I know this is the case of my husband's grandfather, he was the head of the family and a really above-and-beyond-wonderful person. Here is the link to a book written about his life. And below I have also included two videos that were filmed of him a few years ago. The first video is him talking about his family being executed during WWII, and the second video is the story of when he met his wife (Jesse's grandma, Gusta) in Krakow 1945. Watch his whole story here on youtube. May he rest in peace.